Member-only story
A Stalker Gets Copycatted.
Hilarity Ensues…
I have a stalker. A small-peenered pillock of a super-lame stalker.
Pfffft. What a noob. Really, is it his fault that he was born with only half a brain and all the charm of a socially awkward half-rotted river carp? After all, he had nothing to do with his mother’s decision to marry her brother.
Actually, that’s harsh. I guess I should be kinder to him… I mean, he’s doing his absolute best but he appears to be a complete amateur at this — so bad that I’ve put him on notice.
Anyway, I thought he’d created at least 11 profiles in order to stalk me, but it turns out that he has a super lame and unwanted sidekick who was responsible for creating at least 3 of those profiles… leading to a stalker trying to desperately protect his stalking reputation while shrilly announcing that the other profiles aren’t him and making objectively unfactual claims about how he’s a better stalker.
Stalker 1 (small-peenered-pillock AKA SPP) was copycatted by Stalker 2 (AKA Numpty) who was trying to mack in on SPP’s stalking action.
